From time to time, we repost something we like that we've recently rediscovered in our archives. Today we're highlighting 30-year-old Bob, who ponders the various factors that that have contributed to his current sexual status. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission page. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here.
I am almost 30 and never thought I would be a virgin male at this age. I did not date in high school partly because I was too mature. In my junior year I could grow a full beard and was interested in religion, social and science television programs, and books. Little did I know that dating becomes more complex as one ages, and in that way I was very immature. In college I dumped my religious baggage at the dorm door. I still believed in morals–being truthful, kind and good to others–but not in the abstinence part. However, my focus in college was completing my degree and not getting into too much debt. Then after graduation, my focus was on finding a house.
At 27 I was happy. I had a house and liked where I lived, so I started to earnestly look at dating and losing my virginity. I thought dating should be easy. Dating was not easy. I had not dated before so everyone I dated was more experienced than I. Also, I was comfortable being alone, I had a house, friends, a job I enjoyed, freedom, porn, and so I did not need anyone.
After dating a while, I started to get a fear of rejection–not being rejected initially, but being rejected after spending time and effort, then having the relationship end before getting laid. The rejections made me ponder what my excuse for being a virgin is. I am bald but I went with it and shaved my head. I drink and party occasionally. I am 6 feet tall, 190 lbs, not gay, religious, overly shy, or a social introvert.
So basically I am normal and I have no good excuse except it has not happened yet. The longer I stay a virgin, the more it becomes a self-perpetuating feedback loop and the harder it becomes to break free. I still try–I just know now it is more difficult than I expected.
Originally published December 19, 2010