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V-Card Diaries: Chettie "I don't think virginity is that big of a deal. I think SEX is a bigger deal, and should be treated like it matters."

Today we're highlighting Chettie from North Dakota, who knew herself well enough to wait for the right person to have sex with. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. Tell us about yourself:

I'm a 20-year-old university student, just trying to get through life.

How do you define virginity?

To me, virginity is the lack of doing something sexual. I think there are many things you could be a virgin in, but obviously the one that causes the most “stress” in our society is penis-in-vagina virginity.

Tell us your story:

I was 19 when I lost my virginity, to my boyfriend of 6 months. I waited till l was ready for it. I had chances in high school, including the guy I thought I was meant to be with forever. But I honestly hold sex up to a high standard. I think sex is the most intimate and important thing you can share with someone, whether you're a virgin or not. I think you not only have to trust the other person, but you have to know yourself. And I knew myself well enough to know that 14, 15, 16, even 18-year-old me was not ready to have sex. It was not something I wanted complicating my life. I finally "lost" it when I found someone who I trusted, who brought out the best me possible and whom I knew would be able to guide me through it.

Any thoughts on virginity in our society?

I honestly think that people hold virginity up to a higher standard then it should be. I remember going through the day after I lost it and feeling that everything else in the world went on normally. I thought that I would feel different, that I would look at my boyfriend different, or that people would react to me different (like they would just know by looking at me that I had had sex).

I don't think virginity is that big of a deal. I think SEX is a bigger deal, and should be treated like it matters. To me, it doesn't matter that some of my friends have never done it before. But I really do care that the ones that have are being safe both physically and mentally have made the right choices for themselves and they don't act like sex means nothing.

Want to tell your story? Go to our submission page.