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Not Your Average V-Card Diaries: "I don't want anyone to know because I'm such a disgrace"

*Trigger Warning* These are not your average V-Card Diaries narratives. Nyasha and Summer-Rose are from very different countries, but neither consented to sex and both share similar feelings of extreme shame and guilt about losing their virginity. Nyasha,an 18-year-old-woman from Zimbabwe, feels that losing her virginity equals being a disgrace to her community. Summer-Rose, a 19-year-old woman from Australia, had difficulty telling a man she didn't want sex when she was 12. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. We'd love to run it in this blog. 

Nyasha, 18-year-old woman, Zimbabwe:

I began my University education in March. I define virginity as the condition before one's vagina has been penetrated by a penis. I recently lost my virginity to someone I'm not sure I even love. I lost my cool and became scared when he brought his penis to my opening, but I couldn't say no. The penetration was painful, so I pushed him away. I'm not even sure if he got to the hymen. I don't want anyone to know because I'm such a disgrace, but I can't keep it to myself either.

Summer-Rose, 19-year-old-woman, NSW, Australia:

I dunno how I define virginity. I was 12 and I went to a big massive party of my older brother's, who was sixteen at the time,  party and he had a really nice friend and his brother was so hot. He took me to the park, then we walked to his house. We went  into his room and he pulled out a condom and said "care to use it?" I didn't want sex, I wanted a relationship first, but he took my speechlessness as a yes, and before I knew he was pounding my vagina. After that, I didn't have a period for about 3 months. He wanted me to suck his penis and I did, but somehow the condom came off. He blew inside my mouth. It was horrifying and he started moaning and groaning. I didn't know what happened, so I climbed out the window, got dressed behind a bush, and ran home. I told nobody.