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V-Card Diaries: Emma "People wondered how I could even “lose my virginity” without a penis involved"

Today we're highlighting Emma in Vermont, who is 24 and now regularly gets "healthy doses of fingernail-free lovin'." If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. Tell us about yourself:

I'm a 24-year-old female living in Vermont.

How do you define virginity?

It lost a lot of its import when I came out as gay (you might call me lesbian. I don't call me lesbian). A lot of people wondered how I could even "lose my virginity" without a penis involved (answer? Have sex). But for me, losing my virginity, like coming out, opened door after door in front of me, and I guess I realized that I hadn't *lost* anything–I'd found this wonderful new thing that I loved to do.

Tell us your story

Ah, my first time. What a peculiarly uncomplicated episode it was... I had just come out, at the age of 19, and I was having a heck of a time inserting myself in the gay community at my college. My solution was to get smashed and take someone home with me (well, really, make them take me home). The sex was...eh. Average? I learned that fingernails are not a sexy thing for me.

I guess what I liked about it is that it *wasn't* a big deal. I didn't want to be nervous and scared (of course, I still was) and I didn't want to have to worry about whether I'd still be able to face my girlfriend after we had sex. For me, sleeping with a relative stranger (safely and with consent) was the best way I could have imagined having sex the first time. Sad as it may sound if you pictured wedding bells or rose petals and candles for your first time, for me, it was something to get over and move on from. And I'm happy to report that I now get healthy doses of fingernail-free lovin' and I am doing just fine.