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V-Card Diaries: ComplexCat "Being flirtatious and a virgin seems to be a bad combination."

Today we're highlighting ComplexCat in Chicago, IL. Although she was raised in a household that had strict opinions about sex, she has chosen to no longer measure her worth by her virginityIf you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. A little about myself:

I'm and 18-year-old female who lives in Chicago IL.

How I define virginity:

I'm not sure how I define virginity.


Here's my story:

Well, growing up I was always told to believe that your sexuality plays a big role in your lifestyle. I always used to hear stories about "the fast-tail little girls" that ran around playing with the younger boys. I was raised to shun those that have had sex before marriage or before any type of commitment (i.e. relationships). I had a cousin that got pregnant at 11-years-old. My entire family pretended to "support" her when they all secretly were disgusted and ashamed of her. Whenever there were family gatherings my mother kept me away from her. I actually remember rubbing her belly and getting yelled at by my mother.

Fast forward 10 years later:
I'm now 18 and I'm still a virgin. I've never been afraid to openly talk about being a virgin and my sexuality. I've "talked" to several guys and I'm very flirtatious. Being flirtatious and a virgin seems to be a bad combination. I honestly don't even know why I'm still a virgin. All the guys I've met were all pretty nice and I was very comfortable around them. Recently, I had a conversation with my 24-year-old crush about sex. We talked about how naive most girls are and that sex is a natural thing to do. At first I was offended because I thought he was just trying to find reasoning for me to sleep with him. However, when I look at what he was saying it all makes sense. Now I believe that I'm 100% ok with "losing my virginity" as long as the person respects me. I always used to use my virginity as a golden ticket that made me stand out from other girls, but I've realized I have tons of great characteristics that make me stand out. I don't need to keep my virginity concealed from mankind forever, but I also don't need to be passing it out like ice cream on a hot Chicago summer day. Right now I'm just trying to have fun, live life, and become exposed to new things. If I have sex this summer it'll just happen. I'm no longer measuring my worth by me being a virgin.