Category Archives: male virginity

Dear Young Men: Don’t get hung up on the V-Word

Two great articles speaking directly to men about virginity and sexuality. We ladies cover this topic a lot on the blog, and I also enjoyed sharing similar ideas in an interview for an upcoming documentary on male virginity. Unfortunately, we ladies sometimes get a bit of pushback when we weigh in on this topic, but luckily, here’s the same straight […]

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On the lies we tell young men about sex

I was interviewed by Fusion for an article on the toxic cultural forces that tell guys to lose their virginity as soon as possible–and to feel like utter losers if they don’t. It’s based on the male virgin section of a secret-sharing site called Whisper, which is cool on one hand because it allows these guys (gay, straight […]

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Some depressing thoughts about evangelical men and purity pledges:

“The church, and the men that I interviewed, don’t believe that women would need a space to talk through these issues. They believe that men are highly sexual beings and they have “natural urges” that need to be controlled, but they don’t believe that women have that natural desire to be sexually active. Women are […]

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Women feel less guilty about losing their virginity, but is that the conversation we need to be having?

  Image via Rise, Rebel, Resist tumblr As someone who’s been working for years to bust mythologies and change the conversation around virginity, I give a serious hooray for reducing guilt around first intercourse for women. Writing about a new study,  Salon reports in “Science: Losing your virginity isn’t as awkward as it was 20 years ago”: “According to […]

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V-Card Diaries: Tom “I’m waiting for the right woman while broadcasting on web cam sex sites.”

Our latest V-Card Diaries comes from Tom in Michigan, who was told he was still at virgin at 27 because he was too picky. Now he meets women by broadcasting on web cam sex sites. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. We’d love to run it in this blog. A little about myself: I am […]

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V-Card Diaries: The Shadow “She was much older than I was. It was a Mrs Robinson situation.”

Our latest V-Card Diaries comes from The Shadow in the San Francisco Bay Area. There was a lot of pressure not to be a virgin at his all boys’ school, so he was glad to lose his virginity at a pool party. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. We’d love […]

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“DO NOT GET MY DRESS!!!!!” Facebook Prom Groups and other Stupid Things about the ‘Big Night’

As high school winds down, my newsfeed is overwhelmed by pictures of everyone all dolled-up for their big prom nights. Seeing all of these (seemingly) happy couples in their matching prom attire makes me think of my own encounters with the weird “prom culture” that erupts from all of the hoo-rah surrounding the event. Now […]

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All the Lonely People: The conversation we should be having about men and virginity

If you read this blog, you know how important issues like identity and community are to us, including those of self-identified older virgins. In light of the killings at UCSB, and the torrent of misogynist hate speech 22-year-old Elliot Rodger left behind, I think there is an important conversation to be had that includes men […]

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Comments on the UCSB murders and older virgins: Please add yours…

We just got this comment on the post A Shout-Out to Older Virgins from Some Older Virgin, referring to the horrible murders at UCSB this weekend. Many reasons have been floated for why Elliot Rodger did what he did, including the series of quotes I posted earlier dealing with the climate of toxic masculinity and […]

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“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.”

“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” –Margaret Atwood “If I can’t have you, girls, I will destroy you” “If we can’t solve our problems we must DESTROY our problems…One day incels* will realize their true strength and numbers, and will overthrow this oppressive feminist […]

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Just The Tip: Virginity In The News with Pervy prom dads, more Purity TV, Sex lies for guys,and 7 penises in my soda

   You may have already seen this amazing post from a teenager named Clare popping up everywhere online. It’s powerful not just because the story she tells is so hideously sexist, but because more and more, young people are standing up and calling bullshit on Purity Police attacks on their bodies, freedom and moral value. […]

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V-Card Diaries: TeddyBear “I’m rather asexual, though cuddling is nice.”

Our latest V-Card Diaries comes from TeddyBear in New York City, who has never wanted to be sexually involved with anyone. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. We’d love to run it in this blog. A little about myself: Age 55, male, live in New York City. How I define […]

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Want to know what’s really creepy about Purity Balls? (Hint: It’s not the photos)

Do an internet search for the words ‘creepy photos,’ and you’ll likely be directed to Purity, Swedish photographer David Magnusson’s haunting photo essay of fathers and daughters all dressed up for their Purity Balls. A Purity Ball, if you don’t already know, is sort of a father/daughter prom, with the difference being that the girls […]

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V-Card Talkback: “Being a virgin at 20 may put you slightly on the trailing edge of the bell curve, but it hardly makes you a space alien or an object of ridicule.”

We got such a great comment for our last V-Card Diaries from Katherine titled “I’m so afraid of rejection that I don’t know how to approach a guy I’m interested in”, that we’re sharing it as a post so no one misses it. It’s from one of our contributors MHiggo, and we hope it’ll have […]

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Just The Tip: Virginity in the News with Broad City’s Ilana Glazer, Purity creepiness, virginty auctioner revealed, sex myths, and campus rape stats

I’ve been asking people about this very thing for so many years now, and I’ve seen a lot of other people try it with mixed results. It’s tough to get strangers to talk honestly about sex on camera, but Ilana is really sweet and funny and some of the stories are really touching. I shouldn’t […]

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V-Card Diaires: Garrett “I thought of him as my second sexual partner, not as the man I gave my gay virginity to.”

Our latest V-Card Diaries comes from Garrett from California who realized that casual sex didn’t make him feel unclean or ashamed–just stupid. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. We’d love to run it in this blog. A little about myself: I am a 21-year-old bisexual male from California. I […]

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Busting Myths About Adult Virgins

I don’t think I ever posted here about another story I did for Nerve.com called Sexless in the City: The Truth About Adult Virgins. It was a chance to address a lot of the mythology about folks who haven’t yet become sexually active, and all the stigma that goes with that. I was excited to […]

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V-Card Diaries: Mitch “I was sure I was the oldest male virgin outside of the Vatican.”

Our latest V-Card Diaries comes from Mitch in the US. He lost his virginity with a woman he met at a single event and  is glad it happened with a woman he cared about. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. We’d love to run it in this blog. A little […]

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“If you could sum up your first sexual experience in a SFW gif, what would it be?”

  These are hilarious. They came from an askreddit post that asked “If you could sum up your first sexual experience in a SFW gif, what would it be?” Points for not ALL being penis-in-vagina allegories. My personal favorite is the kitty with the banana, but I can’t resist a good cat gif. Which is […]

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Our US TV premiere is this Saturday on Fusion!

Have you heard? How To Lose Your Virginity will have its US television premiere on Fusion, the hot new cable channel from ABC and Univision that targets millennials. Here’s all the info you need to know: TV Premiere & Live Tweet! Saturday, Feb. 8th at 8pm EST Team Trixie will be live tweeting the premiere! […]

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V-Card Diaries: Billy “At one point she asked if I had to touch myself to come which I replied I f***ing hope not!”

Our latest V-Card Diaries comes from Billy in Australia, who feels like experience has taught him to be a more conscientious and giving lover. Billy saw How To Lose Your Virginity on Australian TV, and the film will have another broadcast in Australia on Studio on Feb. 15, 2014. If you want to tell your […]

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V-Card Diaries: Eddie ” “I am one of those few men that still values my own virginity like a treasure.”

Our latest V-Card Diaries comes from Eddie in Houston, who believes that virginity is a treasure you share with the person who is The One. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. We’d love to run it in this blog. About me:  I’m 17, male and Latin. I live in […]

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An interview with Angela Tucker, director (a)sexual

From time to time we republish our favorite posts. This originally ran in August 2010. The film, now called (A)sexual, has been a huge success, and is out and available on Netflix and Hulu! We first heard about Angela Tucker’s in-the-works documentary Asexuality: The Making Of A Movement from Elizabeth, one of her subjects, when […]

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When it comes to losing their virginity, are boys more romantic, more ignorant or just more honest?

From time to time we republish our favorite posts. This originally ran in April, 2012. “The proportion of all American adolescents in their mid-teens claiming sexual experience has decreased, and for boys the decline has been especially steep” writes Amy Schalet in her excellent New York Times article about boys becoming sexually active later than […]

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Alternatives to saying "I’m a Virgin"

From time to time we republish our favorite posts. This originally ran in July, 2011. We talk a lot about our very hazy definitions of virginity and how unhelpful they can be in describing our sexual experience. So, we loved this list from Heather Corinna, (founder of Scarleteen and one of the stars of our […]

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Repost: Dealing with the Big Reveal: Coming out as a virgin

Back by popular demand, here’s one of our most linked-to posts. This post originally ran in January 2011. Share your biggest older virgin myths here. I recently got a note from Ferrette (who did a wonderful First Person for us a while back) with this question: “Have you ever written any articles about the experience […]

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From the archives: Feminist Sex Tips for First-Timers

From time to time, we repost something we like that we’ve recently rediscovered in our archives. This is from Sept, 2011. The Times Online just ran this question in its sex advice column: I am a 38-year-old virgin. After a very awkward situation at the age of 15 I have never tried again because I […]

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Casting Call for Virgins. I’m Not Kidding. A Guest Post from Belle Vierge

Therese’s intro: I get a lot of requests from producers asking for my help in recruiting virgins for their exploitative reality shows. In my opinion, reality TV is the last place you ever want to trust with anything important or sensitive about your life. This is an actual true life example: Me: I’d love to […]

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V-Card Diaries: Chris “In real life, they were a couple. But in the live-action role-playing game, she and I were.”

Our latest V-Card Diaries comes from Chris in Portland, Oregon, whose serious romantic complications began with a live action role-playing game. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. We’d love to run it in this blog. Tell us about yourself: I’m a 33-year-old white male video artist living in Portland, […]

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Films we want to see: “The To-Do List”starring Aubrey Plaza

[Update: The New York Times gave it a great review] I can’t wait for Aubrey Plaza’s new film ‘The To-Do list” (she’s April Ludgate on “Parks and Recreation” ) Inspired by writer/director Maggie Carey’s own life as a teen, it twists the standard teen sex comedy narrative: Nerdy high school student Brandy, and not her […]

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