The American Virgin is thrilled to welcome its newest partner in crime, our official Christian Correspondent (above, on her de-virginizing day). Formerly Fundamentalist. Take it away...
[I am the Christian Correspondent: If I can take the science out of scientific studies then I've done my job!]
Having taken a virginity pledge in my youth, and come out on the other side a divorced, decidedly non-virgin adult, I hope to offer a specific, pertinent, and relatively humorous perspective on all things American Virgin.
There are virgins out there, virgins of choice even: hot ones, older ones, really-into-God ones. I know these people. Hell, even I made it to the marriage bed with the hymen mostly intact. But duh, these are sexual anomalies. Teens engage in sexual behavior – even Christian ones!
The Christian teen narrative: OK, so if I end up below the waist just muddle through it, seek forgiveness after, cross the fingers and pray for my period/no sores, and hope the guilt doesn’t give me stomach cancer.The adult narrative: OK, we’ve taken care of your virginity pledge; I see your ring there. Next on the agenda – leaving towels on the floor, or more seriously, how many lives can you save from hell in either 1) math class or 2) your missions trip this summer.
In a more progressive youth group atmosphere, I was told step six of a “courtship” is “Hand On Shoulder”. Step seven is “Hand On Waist.” There were no more steps...
Tune in next time when I relive the moment my youth pastor announced she was turned on by armpit foreplay!