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V-Card Diaries: Rosie "I knew I was being taken advantage of,but it was nice to feel wanted"

Today we're highlighting Rosie, who tells us about her first time and her thoughts about the V-word itself. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. How do I define virginity? I'll stick with the tradition view: the penis penetrating the vagina. I do believe oral/anal are a form of sex, i.e. one couldn't claim to be abstinent if they partook in any of these acts.

How I lost mine: I always thought that was a strange way of phrasing the question... as if virginity was something that I posses and that somebody will eventually take away from me...

Anyway, my story: Just after I turned 16 I had met a man... an older man, he was 34 to be exact. Growing up, I had a bad relationship with my father, so when an older man was willing to give me some attention and make me feel special, it was hard to resist even though I knew the situation was really wrong. I knew I was being taken advantage of, but it was nice to feel wanted.

The first time we had sex was a very strange experience. Most of it was the feeling of just wanting to get it over with, both in the psychological and physical sense. I just remember it being horrendously painful to the point where I was nearly crying and wanting it to be over. However, once I crossed that line I couldn't help but feel used, as if I was now officially "damaged goods".

Why we need to talk about virginity: I think this project of yours takes a very interesting look at how our society views virginity. It seems to be something that is revered yet not something you want to brag about. I know my friends hate telling guys that they are virgins because most guys either don't want to be the one to "take it" or they are way too aroused by the idea of it.

Additionally, I wanted to share my story since most often between t.v., movies, and magazines, losing your virginity is this romanticized event, yet I'm sure most women have stories that range from lack luster to disturbing. Personally, I feel like I can't tell my story to people because they'll look at me differently or think ill of me for losing mine how I did.

I'm 21 now, and I still feel conflicted with how I lost mine... a part of me is really glad it's over, another part wants to forget the whole thing, and another really wishes it could have been a more pleasant experience.

Tell us how you define virginity, how you lost/kept it, and anything else about the v-word. Email your answers to info*at*