A little while back, we wondered: Amidst the overload of advice for guys sleeping with virginal women, where was the advice for us gals getting busy with virginal guys? To the rescue come Em & Lo who have made a list entitled Virgin Territory: How to deflower a nice young man in fourteen easy steps.
Here are excerpts from their introduction:
...If only every woman thought this way — and we're not just talking about the cherry poppers here — then this world would contain far fewer men who think they're awesome kissers despite the Saturn-like rings of saliva they leave around every girlfriend's mouth...
While it's uber-nice to want to train someone for all their future partners, you don't want to make this feel like obedience camp. Instead, you need to focus on teaching by example. If you think he might be a bit of a slow learner, then tell him in advance, "If I do something to you, it usually means I'd like you to do it to me at some point. Follow my lead, and 5-6-7-8!"
The trickiest thing is finding the right balance between vanilla and not-so-vanilla. You don't want to freak him out (or make him pull a muscle) by getting into all 768 positions of the Kama Sutra early on....[but] if his first time is five minutes of quick thrusting in the missionary position (oh, high school!), then he might be inclined to think, "Huh. So that's how it goes."
Thus, you need to show him a broad range of what sex can mean so that (a) he can figure out what he likes and what he doesn't, and (b) so that he won't develop any iron-clad assumptions about what should and shouldn't be part of sex.
The experts at The American Virgin thought these were their best tips:
take it slow
insist on protection
don't ever fake it
let him lie back and enjoy the ride
undo all the bad information he's received from porn
and never, ever make fun of him
Let Em&Lo know we need this important document back online!