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V-Card Diaries: Consuelo "Girls who lost their virginity before marriage were labeled whores"

Today we're highlighting 20-year-old Consuelo who writes a blog called Burger Queen. She talks to us about her Mexican household, being 'flamboyant' and why art classes can be awkward. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. What is your definition of virginity? I think that virginity is more of a state of mind. I know a couple of girls who do everything BUT sexual intercourse in order to technically remain virgins. I can sadly understand why they do this. I grew up in a Mexican household were I was given a lot of mixed messages on the issue of virginity. My dad was pretty open minded. My mom, on the other hand, pretended to be open about it (she would tell me I was free to have sex) but labeled girls who lost their virginity before marriage as “whores.”

That certainly has contributed to the confused state of mind I now have. A part of me wants to remain a virgin until I get marry while the other simply doesn’t. Nevertheless, I am conscious that virginity does not define nor does it make a woman any better.

Why have you decided to stay a virgin? Well, I never officially decided to remain a virgin. I never had a boyfriend or been in a situation were I was close to losing my virginity, so it’s been easy pretty easy to stay a virgin.

How have your dates/partners reacted? I've only been to a couple of dates so I never had to confess I was a virgin. I have only confessed that I’m a virgin to a limited number of people at my uni and they all acted pretty surprised. I had been told that I simply don’t look like a virgin because I am “attractive” and quite flamboyant. I don’t know whether to feel flattered or not about this.

Anything else you want to say about virginity or our cultural attitudes towards it? I wish that I could honestly say that I embrace and love the fact I am a virgin, but to be honest I don’t. I feel ashamed that I am a virgin who has never even been in a relationship. I remember sitting in art class one day and the issue of sexuality arising. A guy said that he was not going to censor himself because everybody in class had sex, or something along those lines.

Although I understand that most college students are not virgins, label me crazy but I felt embarrassed. It is as if once you reach a certain age you are expected to have sex and if you don’t then you are a loser. For now, I plan to solely focus on my studies and hopefully the right guy will show up someday.

Tell us how you define virginity, how you lost/kept it, and anything else about the v-word. Email your answers to info*at*