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V-Card Diaries: "It would be easier for me if she were also a virgin"

Another installment in our series of V-Card Diaries interviews on virginity. Our friend in Oklahoma left this in our comments and we thought we'd share it with you. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form I'm a hetero guy in Oklahoma in the USA, turning 36 at the end of June 2009, a virgin. Honestly, I'm not really preoccupied with the perceived "stigma" or what other people think. I'm not sure why exactly.

I've always wanted to be in an intimate, lasting relationship and sharing a life with someone; as I put it once, being able to say "I love you" to a former stranger. That's been my real, primary dream or wish to be fulfilled, rather than sex itself.

My main anxiety is over my ineptitude of the act the first and few times afterward - in some ways I think it would be easier for me if she were also a virgin. It would be a bonding experience, both figuring out how to make it all work, that first time, because I'm not all that interested in sex in and of itself. I don't agree with the guys who want an experienced woman, in fact that is more intimidating to me.

Tell us how you define virginity, how you lost/kept it, and anything else about the v-word. Email your answers to info*at*