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Born-Again Virgins, Vampire-Style

Throwing a whole new wrinkle into the 'How do you define virginity?" conundrum was a recent episode of "True Blood" in which Jessica found an unexpected barrier to relations with Hoyt.

Clip is here, courtesy of

Since Jessica, who was 'made' by Bill in season 1, had an intact hymen at the time of her transformation, no matter how many times she has intercourse and breaks it, it will always grow back. Something to do with the innate regenerative properties of vampire blood, I guess. Jessica and Hoyt, not surprisingly, have different views on the matter:

Jessica: It grew back! Everything heals when you're a goddamn vampire!
Hoyt: It'll be beautiful. Every time will be like our first time
Jessica: It'll hurt like hell! I'm a fucking deformity of nature. I'm going to be a virgin forever!"

In a world where virginity = intact hymen, I guess she's right. Which means she'll easily pass muster with the many dangerously-misguided people who subject women to virginity tests all over the world (despite her whole undead blood-sucker thing)

By the way, being HBO-challenged, I just finished watching the first season on DVD. I had to wade into Season 2 episodes I really shouldn't be seeing yet to bring you this report. The things I do for you loyal readers...