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V-Card Diaries: "Sex has lost its place as a natural part of living"

Another installment in our series of V-Card Diaries interviews on virginity. We get a lot of stories through our comments and occasionally we share them here. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. We'd love to run it in this blog! I'm 21 and still a virgin. I was brutally sexually assaulted as a toddler and there are still physical scars from the assault, besides all of the mental ones. I don't feel that me remaining a virgin this long is something I would've chosen if not for the assault. I have a natural respect for sex itself and I'm quite open in talking about it and exploring it (with myself) but a whole bunch of neuroses I'm usually not aware I have come into play when the chance to explore it with someone else pops up. I have no problems being friends with guys (especially because of how hard I am to offend) but it becomes a different thing all together when the issue of sex comes up.

I think there's so much media focus on sex that it seems impossible to live without it, but I view it as a bit of a hype phenomenon. Sort of how seeing so many reaction videos to [notorious porn film] 2 Girls, 1 Cup makes you wonder what all of the fuss is about. Sex has lost its place as a natural part of living, and I think that contributes to all of the pressure to have a sex life and start early. It's been turned into a commodity to own.

I don't personally wish to go my whole life celibate, particularly because I seem to be a naturally sexual person and it seems that exploring my sex life will be the best way for me to heal from my trauma. I think that it's possible to live without sex, that people exist who are truly asexual and don't see the need for it or who have good reasoning for avoiding it.

Tell us how you define virginity, how you lost/kept it, and anything else about the v-word. Email your answers to info*at*