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Touched For the Very First Time

Thanks to our favorite film editor Carole for alerting us to this wonderful website. Pure Romance seems to be a kind Avon-like enterprise, except that instead of a woman showing up at your door with a selection of lipsticks, she has a selection of dildos.

They also sell a vaginal tightener called "Like A Virgin." It's an alum-based cream that, when applied to the vaginal walls, causes swelling making it feel, you know, like the very first time. At least that's what they claim. We've written about similar products before, mostly to compare it to Trixie Films' favorite vaginal tightener "China Shrink Cream." Here in our test kitchens, we applied it to the facial lips of one willing intern with little result.

Anyway, we're pretty over the fact that these products exists and that people actually think it's something they should use. What got us – and Carole – was this line of how-to advice from Pure Romance CEO and "Intimacy Expert" Patty Brisben:

If you can’t reach very far into the vagina, or are too uncomfortable touching yourself...

We're with Carole in thinking that if a woman is too uncomfortable to touch herself, yet is seeking out this product, perhaps she should be directed to a therapist instead.