Check out an article I just did for Skirt!, a very cool monthly feminist magazine out of South Carolina. They invited me to write about the disconnect between fantasy and reality in first-time sexual experiences, so I decided to include some of the V-Card Diaries we run on this blog. Here's a little bit of it:
I cringe when I think about all the times I nodded and smiled knowingly when college friends talked about sex. At the age of 23, I believed I was the oldest living virgin and everyone around me was having fabulous sex with their devoted boyfriends. In retrospect, I’m sure many were as full of shit as I was.
Rosie, 21, echoes the feelings of several women I know: “An older man was willing to give me some attention and make me feel special. It was hard to resist even though I knew the situation was really wrong. I knew I was being taken advantage of, but it was nice to feel wanted.”
I think “First Person” is popular partly because of the wide variety of experiences and opinions about virginity. We’re fed a lot of crap about what our first times should be like, whether it’s the promise of perfect wedding night sex after a life of abstinence, losing it on prom night with your football player boyfriend, or going wild on spring break while the cameras roll. Reality is something else entirely, so it’s no wonder many of us feel abnormal and then are too embarrassed to talk about it.