website statistics

Prom: It's Time to Get...A New Hook

Trixie intern Aggie probes further into the mysterious Bart Got A Room video:

Watching Bill Macy strumming and singing in this earlier Trixie post, I was for a second lulled into thinking the whole bit was satirical, maybe even a catchy PSA to help students realize the absurdity of the prom sex cliché. Then I saw the trailer for the film that Macy and co-star, Kate Micucci, are advertising in their little ditty:

According to this trailer, Bart Got A Room could also be called American Pie 19. And as such, it teaches us the following age-old lessons:

1) Women are simply an amalgamation of fragmentary body parts which exist only to be judged (by men) along a scale of certain qualities, including: ampleness, shakiness, ability to be "limber," and how tightly a dress can address their curves.

2) Sex is something men do to women. Among the litter of available female bodies listlessly hoping to be discovered while in math class, men are burdened to choose the one woman who can appropriately serve as the receptacle to their rites of passage.

3) If you are in a male-identified body and you have not found such a receptacle, it is not because you are not kind enough nor respectful enough nor intelligent enough. After all, even Bart can get a room and he is, apparently, an off-screen loser. No, you lack a willing vessel simply because you're a little shy and/or a momma's boy. You must remember that women are just waiting to serve you in this way, regardless of how you treat them (even your mom approves)! So if you just push yourself a bit harder, you too can enter the halls of manhood.

4) If you are in a female-identified body and you play any sport which requires that you stretch your body to new and powerful limits, then what you're really saying is that you are ready, willing, and wide open for insertion. So, don't be surprised if men seek you out for sex. It's only natural.

Now, perhaps the film itself does actually dispel some stereotypes. But the trailer, which may be many people's only experience with the film, simply recycles tired gender expectations and double standards. At this point, after far too many American Pie remakes, too many irresponsible displays of women's bodies, and too many reasons to be filled with anxiety and dread about sex, there is only one person with enough chutzpah to kick our asses out of this trite muck. Maybe even scare some of us into foregoing prom and choosing a nice, relaxing dinner and a (thought-provoking, innovative) movie date instead: