website statistics

V-Card Diaries: BHM "It was over in a millisecond of the whole entire time you spent thinking about it since you got your first bra at the age of 13."

Today we're highlighting BHM in Wales, who talks about the peer pressure she felt do to something that turned out to be kind of overrated. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission page. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. Tell us about yourself:

I am a 21 year old woman, living in the UK, and am currently working as an intern for an online newspaper. I lost my virginity at a camp when I was 18 years old, and am pretty sure was the last one to lose it in my year at school.

How do you define virginity?

I define virginity as a moment in your life that is overrated and not of much importance when looking at the bigger picture. Virginity is a big deal when you haven't lost it and when you have you look back wondering why you were so worried or scared, as it was over in a millisecond of the whole entire time you spent thinking about it since you got your first bra at the age of 13.

A lot of the girls in my year at school had boyfriends from the age of 15/16 years old, and were open about their sexual experiences. Having not had a proper boyfriend and my 18th birthday was nearing, I did start to look at myself and worry that it was me that was the problem. That maybe I wasn't attractive to the opposite sex, maybe I should dress like the girls who had lost their virginities, and maybe I do not need a boyfriend to fulfil this act. It's different for everyone, but personally, I do not think it was a big deal as my friends and society had told me.

Why did you wait and why did you stop waiting?

My virginity was like a box at the back of my mind, and crept closer into my thoughts as the thought of going to University a virgin loomed. It was a big red tick on my ever growing check list in life which included lose weight and marry before 28. I figured the 'get boyfriend' note was not of huge importance as I had already done the first big milestone without having one.

My first time was unpleasant and I felt more relieved than anything else just to have got it out of the way. Did I love him? No. Did I like him? Yes. Well, I fancied him. He seemed to like me and that was that.

Any thoughts on virginity in our society?

When I was growing, I was told that it was special and that you should wait until you love someone and make sure that they respect you. I like this idea and a part of me wishes I had done this, but I do think this is more of an ideal situation, almost like what you see in films, then what happens in reality. Today girls are losing their virginity to anyone and at younger ages, I think if you love someone and feel ready, do it, if you like someone and they like you, and it feels right at that moment in time, do not let society, peer pressure or any other factors effect your decision.