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These two stories about rape and consent showed up in my inbox at the same time:

These stories were both in my inbox:

“I just mean, I can’t believe I just had sex for the first time,” I said shyly. “It wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be.”

“Um, are you serious?” he asked incredulously. “We had sex two nights ago. Didn’t you notice?”

Something didn’t make sense. We had definitely gone far and gotten totally naked a few nights ago, but before things got too hot and heavy, I had told him my big secret and made sure he understood that even though I was really into him and thought I was close to being ready, I wasn’t quite there yet. He had respected that, right? I mean, I would have known if he hadn’t. Wouldn’t I?

From "I Was Date Raped When I Was Drunk" by Amelia McDonell-Parry


You can do all the right things, follow the rules, dress modestly, avoid alcohol, etc. and it still might just not be enough.[...]Rape doesn’t discriminate. It happens to sober women, it happens to straight men, it happens to trans folks, it happens to people who look like they could fight back, it happens to those you least expect. No matter who it happens to and no matter what they’re wearing or their state of mind or their sexual orientation, it is a total violation. (Especially given that most rape is inflicted by acquaintances.) And if we could focus on that, the utter wrongness of the act, rather than fixating on what the victim could have done better, then I think 1 in 5 might actually feel safe speaking out.

From "Nearly 1 in 5 American women has been sexually assaulted" by Lena Chen