Today we're highlighting F. from Grand rapids, MI, who discusses the different shades of virginity. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. Tell us about yourself:
I am an 18-year-old female sociology student at Aquinas College. It is catholic—I am not. I have a fascination with all topics relating to sex, women, gender and popular culture.
How do you define virginity?
I define virginity in shades—i.e. penis in vagina virginity, anal virginity, oral, etc.
Tell us your story:
I am not a virgin, by my definition, including all shades. I have only had sex in committed relationships, though I don't want that to be the only way I ever experience it. I think that being comfortable with sexuality is very important, especially for women. For a very long time I was extremely uncomfortable with giving oral sex, perhaps because I had been told that it was 'degrading.' I have found that I have a much higher sex drive than my partners, something which they have commented on as being 'uncommon.' Losing my virginity, especially to another virgin, was not very pleasurable, and I worry sometimes about the people who are overly fixated on their first time being 'magical' or whatever. Sex and sexuality are journeys that only get better with time.
Any thoughts on virginity in our society?
The focus on female virginity is only detrimental to gender equality—only once people stop seeing young women as things to be 'protected' can women really be equal in our society. Never regret, only learn and grow.
Want to tell your story? Go to our submission page.