Today we're highlighting Sarah from Newfoundland. She's 26 now, but this tale of doctors, mothers and pap smears happened when she was a couple months shy of 17. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. Tell us about yourself:
I'm a 27 year-old Canadian who has happily immigrated to the antipodes. While I wouldn't change anything about my life thus far, it is still important to point out the things that were messed up about the community I came of age in and the general attitude towards teens and sex that existed.
Tell us your story:
I grew up in a town with a high teenage pregnancy rate as well as the highest occurrence of syphilis in the province–not to mention other STDs. I was in grade 11 and about to head off on my first full summer away from home without my parents when my mom decided that, in case I get raped, I should go on the pill.
For some reason, my mother brought me to the emergency ward of our small town hospital to get this prescription instead of to my parents family doctor. When I finally see a physician, he tells my mom that he will need to perform a pap smear. I was cool with this, and when I think back on it, he had my health at heart and likely had to deal with a lot of young women who either kept their sexual activity a secret from their family or were uninformed about STDs.
My mother, however, freaks the fuck out, repeats to him and all the staff that I am a virgin (which I was, a fact which disappoints me almost a decade later). So, after four hours spent at a hospital, we come home empty handed and mom finally calls the receptionist at her usual clinic. I get in the next day and get my pills without an exam.
Flash forward two years later and I am in university on the opposite end of the province. My mother constantly told me that she rather I come home with an STD than an engagement ring, but the moment I mention that I'm going to change my pill prescription and have a pap appointment booked, she starts to cry on the phone, sobbing that I shouldn't let a doctor take my virginity.
How do you define virginity?
Well, I certainly don't agree with my mother that the doctor took my virginity, nor did I lose my virginity when I bought a hilariously oversized dildo for the sole purpose dealing with my hymen (you know, to remove my anxieties about bleeding/discomfort in anticipation for real first time sex). For me, I define my virginity as a time when I was unable to engage and connect with people, when I felt unattractive and definitely projected to people that I was unavailable and unattractive. I was embarrassed due to being a virgin in my 20s and the most true to life quote I have ever heard has come from the character George Lass from the late,great show "Dead Like Me": Death is kind of like sex in high school. If you knew how many times you missed having it, you'd be paralysed.