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V-Card Diaries: SPN "I thought I'd be really embarrassed about someone touching me down there"

Today we're highlighting SPN in England, who's now able to tick off the bases thanks to everything she learned from fan fiction! If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. Tell us about yourself:

I'm a 21 year old university student, and self professed super geek, been ready for sex for ages, can't read signals from boys well at all. Or give them well. I was a virgin up until very recently.

How do you define virginity?

I always just went with the 'penetration' one. But I got curious as to what others thought a while ago, and opinions varied widely, from orgasm, hymen breakage, loss of innocence, any sexual contact. But I suppose I still consider it vaginal penetration for a girl.

Tell us your story

I'd been wanting to have sex for a while now. I was kind of sick of being the only virgin left in my group of friends from High School. So last week, I'm told by one of the guys I actually do like, (had been attracted to him for a while now, but just assumed he was never interested) that people thought I only liked one kind of guy and maybe that's why they don't hit on me. I was shocked. And annoyed. I made it clear, that is not the case. So I decided maybe now was the time to make a play.

I've never considered sex a big deal, so I didn't need to love a guy to want it. For this, it was more like lust. Ended up going round his place. We played games, drank a bit, watched stuff, until really early in the morning. As it was raining and freezing, I couldn't exactly go home now, could I? I was aiming to stay the night regardless of if anything  happened. I like sharing a bed with a guy, spooning is cosy. But I got more than spooning, which I am glad for.

He started by feeling me up, which got me the most turned on I've ever been I think. The anticipation. He seemed good with his hands though no frame of reference. He made me orgasm 2 or 3 times with his fingers. I thought I'd be really embarrassed about someone touching me down there, but I was OK with being touched by him. We made out for a while before we actually had sex. It stung more than anything. Could have been much worse I imagine. I think I got off lucky.

So I can tick each base off. I feel kind of bad that he did pretty much all the work though. I was a little scared to actually touch his penis, but I can work my way up to that. Fanfic has helped me thus far, taught me a lot of tricks too, which I can now start to use.

Any thoughts on virginity in our society?

I think virginity values have switched. Before it used to be a good thing if you were a virgin, but now it's less valued, and if you don't lose it when you're younger, you get looked down upon. And I think that sucks. That childhood is getting invaded by things I always thought could wait till later. Losing my virginity hasn't changed me. I feel exactly the same. But I'm still glad I didn't do it when I was like 13/14/15, I was soooo childish still then. Some people can be ready then, but I don't think I was.