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V-Card Diaries: Allie "Is it so crazy that I want to be in love with the person I have sex with?"

Today we're highlighting Allie in California, who wishes that waiting for the right guy didn't make her seem prudish in the eyes of others. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. Tell us about yourself:

I'm a 22 year old college student at Humboldt State University in California with one year left of school. I can not wait to graduate!

How do you define virginity?

I define virginity as penetration of the vagina with a penis.

Tell us your story

As a 22 year old college student I get weird looks whenever I tell people that I'm a virgin, so I stopped telling people. It doesn't really come up on conversation a lot and when it does I change the subject. I didn't take any sort of pledge but it's never felt right for me. I actually have never had a boyfriend, I used to be a shy and kind of awkward person and that excuse got me out of being too depressed in high school for being single, but I've grown a bit now and had a couple of dates, but they always go running when I tell them I've never had sex and I want to wait until it feels like the right time.

I'm not some sort of prude, like some people think I am, I just want it to mean something. It is a big deal to be that intimate with someone, to share all your secrets (you have a mole there?!?) and to trust someone that much takes time. Is it so crazy that I want to be in love with the person I have sex with? I hope not, because that's how I feel. I don't think I will wait until marriage, because I'd feel like I was just getting married so I could have sex. I just really wish everyone would stop judging me for being a virgin, it's not that big of a deal, I'm just waiting for the right guy.