Today we're highlighting Stephani from Portland, an aspiring sexologist whose virginity story differs depending on the act in question. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. Tell us about yourself:
I am 24 years old and live in Portland, Oregon. I am an aspiring sexologist.
How do you define virginity?
Virginity is subjective. When people ask me at what age I lost my virginity, I always ask, "that depends on what you consider sex." The answer to that question determines the answer because I was having oral sex with I was 12, but had heterosexual intercourse when I was 14.
Tell us your story
I remember being so excited and afraid about losing my virginity. Like most young girls, I wanted it to be "special" but it was anything but. I am still unclear as to when I lost my virginity and what exactly I did to lose it (was it oral sex? intercourse? manual sex?) and I find it so interesting the sex acts girls do to "avoid" losing their virginity. From oral to anal, young women everywhere are having sex but saying it "doesn't count" based on a hetero-normative definition of sex. It's interesting and confusing at the same time. When DID I lose my virginity? 12? 14? Or maybe even 23 when I first had anal sex? Are there different "types" of virginity? I don't know. And I don't think it matters really when or how I "lost" it. Because I don't feel I lost anything. I gained a sexual self, knowledge, and experience.