Today we're highlighting Sassafras in California, who I interviewed about her status as a virgin a while back (She told me she once wanted to be a nun, despite the fact that she was Jewish). Sassafrass, who is 25, recently emailed me to tell me her status had changed! We really appreciate her kind words about this project, but even more than that, we love how she made this experience just one more step in her expanding sexual repertoire. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here.
I thought of you the other day...can you guess why? According to the hetero-normative definition, I can no longer count myself among the sisterhood of virgins.
I wanted to tell you that I'm *so* glad our conversations on the subject of virginity preceded my first experience with hetero sex. I believe our conversations contextualized the experience for me–significantly released my first experience with sex from the unhealthy, fabricated hype of "losing virginity," and brought the choice into the same realm of choice I have always had to engage in other sexual acts. My experience was fine–fun, even.
I didn't tell the guy that it was my first time, partially because I was, admittedly, shy about that fact, but mostly because I didn't think it really mattered. The encounter was casual, light, with a friend to whom I don't feel extremely close, but with whom I feel comfortable, safe and playful. I discovered that I definitely prefer oral sex.
I'm going to encourage my mom to watch your film when it comes out. I just discovered how squeamish she is around the subject. When I told her about my recent experience, she said, "Finally. Mazel Tov..." and proceeded to ask me to spare her the details, because she is my mother, after all, not my friend, and goodness knows we need to respect certain boundaries. This coming from a psychologist and child of the '60s and feminist movement. Oy!