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V-Card Diaries: Bethany "I did what was expected of a girl losing her virginity, I bought matching underwear"

Today we're highlighting Bethany in Michigan, who thinks virginity signifies the power that society has over women and their bodies. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. Tell us about yourself:

I am 24 years old, and I live in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

How do you define virginity?  

I went to a school with a very high teen pregnancy rate in Wyoming, MI. I promised myself that I would not lose my virginity before I left high school because I was scared SHITLESS of becoming pregnant and ending up like the other girls in my class: teen moms with babies and, in my petty mind, no future.  So, in a sense, as a younger and not-so-feminist version of me, I saw my virginity as something to hold on to because it would get in the way of my success, thus defining my womanhood through this single sexual act.  I now see that I used it as a way to distinguish myself from an identity I longed to escape.  Now I see that virginity=power, and, sadly, I think it signifies the power that society has over women and their bodies.

Tell us your story:

I was in a monogamous relationship with my high school sweetheart; let's call him "Chad".  We had fooled around during our two year tryst, but no serious business and no sex.  The minute I packed up for college, I had sex, sex, sex on the brain and I knew it was on his too.  Although we never made an official plan, we both knew we were going to lose our virginities when he came up during my first week of school for a big football game, and our first time without "adult" supervision.

We, being the classiest of couples, booked a hotel room in a town near my college.  Before he arrived, I did what was expected of a girl losing her virginity: bought matching underwear (which, by the way, was going the extra mile because I wore sports bras from age 11 to age 17).  I dressed in my cutest outfit, put on more make-up than I had ever had, and packed an overnight bag with my sexiest sleep shorts and tank top (I still don't wear negligees...).  On the 20 minute drive to the hotel, my mind raced with expectations and fears, with the pervasive thought of "FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, I should have grabbed condoms from the health center before I left".

We arrived at the hotel, paid up front (with my credit card, by the way) and proceeded upstairs. We entered into the stale-smelling room with the yellowed ceiling and the green-flowed bedspread that make all cringe.  We looked at each other, shrugged, and proceeded to make out.  He was the first person I had ever undressed in front of and, to be honest, neither one of us had a fucking clue what we were doing.  But, at one point, probably before the pants came off, I said, "Dude, we need to stop and get condoms" and Chad's simple response was to grab a box of Trojans from his duffle and chuckle as he said, "I came prepared".  We finally figured out how to put it on him and when he slid into me, I laughed because I didn't know what else to do.