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V-Card Diaries: Claire "I never intended to stay a virgin for so long, so I'm hiring an escort for the night."

Today we're highlighting Claire, a 30-year-old woman from Sydney, Australia, who's ready to take some extreme actions to shed her virginity. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. Tell us about yourself:  

My name is Claire. I'm 30 (about to be 31), female, and I live in Sydney, Australia.

How do you define virginity? 

When I learned about sex, I was taught it was between a man and a woman and centered around vaginal penetration.  I was 16 before I realized that there was an option other than heterosexual–talk about sheltered. Even though there must be other definitions, I can't stop thinking of a virgin as someone who has never had a penis in their vagina (or of course put their penis in someone’s vagina).

Tell us your story:

I never intended to stay a virgin for so long.  There was no decision, no religious grounds, no anything else; in some ways it would be easier if there was/had been. I've been 'large' for most of my life and it's taken me a long time to feel OK with that.  I never understood why someone would find me attractive, so when asked on a date I would assume they were desperate, dared or insane, none of which appealed to me so I would always say no. In a way, I stayed a virgin only because I never let anyone close enough to form a relationship where I'd want to have sex with them.

I didn't really think about my virginity one way another until about 24 when almost overnight I developed this feeling that I had 'missed the boat.'  Suddenly it went from something I didn't even think about to a source of shame.  I always thought 'how do you explain to someone that you want to wait longer because it's your first time?' Most of my friends thought nothing of casual sex, and I felt so different to them. In the end I decided that I didn't care; I wasn't going to let being a virgin define who I am or how I live my life.  But at 30 (almost 31) everyone around me is getting married and/or having children and I've still never had sex.  In a lot of ways I just want it done, I wish I'd just had a one night stand years ago.

So I decided I needed a plan, I'm NOT making it to 31!  I've been trying everything from dating sites to 'adult-dating' sites. It hasn't been working so I'm hiring an escort for a night.  I haven't chosen one yet, still trawling through the hundreds of them out there, my cut off for deciding is the end of September.

Some will criticize, but I'm comfortable with this choice. My first time will be with someone who knows what they're doing, and who's probably heard it all before.