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V-Card Diaries: Tokimina "I'm dating other men, but we have both remained virgins, waiting for each other."

Today we're highlighting Tokimina, who is 20 years old and ready to have sex with her long-distance love. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. Tell us about yourself:

I am a Mexican 20-year-old girl. And to my dismay, a virgin still.

How do you define virginity?

I know I might sound very narrow-minded, but for me sex has to involve intercourse. I recognize homosexual sex is also sex, but when people say someone had "sex with himself/herself" it just sounds odd to me. Can you really have sex and not share it with someone else? I think not. A virgin is someone who has not had that interaction with another person.

Tell us your story

I met the guy I'm in love with when I was 14 years old. We stayed best friends for about three years, but then I had to move. We didn't plan to keep in touch or anything, but we did, and I fell in love with him even more. I have had my fair share of boyfriends, and I have loved them, but he is always in the back of my mind. Finally last year we confessed to each other how we really feel but decided we were not going to date until we could be together. I don't feel strong enough to have a long distance relationship. We meet every few months, and have done everything there is except actual intercourse. I have been dating other men, and he has dated other women, but we have both remained virgins, and while we have not said so, I am sure we are waiting for each other.

I wouldn't care if he were not virgin, as we never made any promises, but I do want to wait for him because I know he cares about my feelings and I trust him more than anyone else. My whole family is Catholic and so am I, but they are very open and supportive and my parents encourage me to have sex whenever I feel ready to do it as long as it is with someone that loves me and respects me. He, on the other hand is atheist, but has no support from his family at all. I am more than ready now, I know so, and I have found lots of chances (I think I am fairly good looking and popular with boys), but it all comes down to the right person.

I will visit this man in a couple months. I have been dropping clues to see if he is into it, but he is shy and even though I know he understands what I mean, he keeps avoiding it. I don't want to push him or force him, but I am worried it is politeness and culture that's holding him back and not his actual feelings. In our country sex is still very stigmatized, and some information is very limited, so I am sure that he has lots of doubts and doesn't really know how everything works, but I don't want fear to ruin what we could have together. Also, he might be worried things will get awkward after that and it could ruin the beautiful friendship we have. Either way, I feel I am ready and can't wait any longer, so I hope it happens soon, and with a man that cares.