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V-Card Diaries: Sarah "Does lesbian sex mean you're a virgin forever, because there isn't neccessarily any penetration?"

Today we're highlighting Sarah in New Jersey, who started thinking differently about hymens, penis-in-vagina sex and virginity after reading "The Purity Myth." If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. Tell us about yourself:

I'm an 18-year-old woman (I still feel strange calling myself a woman–I am a girl, really) and I live in New Jersey. Next year I will live in Boston at Emerson College.

How do you define virginity?

Virginity is an entirely social construct–so I don't.

Tell us your story

I think the first time I started thinking of virginity this way was after I read Jessica Valenti's "The Purity Myth." That was when I stopped thinking of virginity in terms of the state of a person before penis-in-vagina sex–that excludes members of the LGBTQIA community, and just isn't really a fair definition. Does lesbian sex mean you are a virgin forever, because there isn't necessarily any penetration? On top of that, this was around the time when I learned what the hymen really is. It's nothing that actually BREAKS, at least not in most cases. So even the physical evidence of virginity isn't there. I actually wrote a piece about this for a grrrl zine one time.