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V-Card Diaries: Nithya "I had heard about the rapes in India and was terrified of having my virginity taken"

*Trigger Warning: discussion of sexual assault* Today we're highlighting Nithya in India, who was severely traumatized after being assaulted, but now sees sex as a healthy form of self expression. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. Tell us about yourself:

I'm a 22 year old female medical student from Canada, but am currently studying in India. My cultural background is Sri Lankan. I've never lived there but was raised by traditional Catholic parents.

How do you define virginity?

Instinctively I would say penile-vaginal intercourse. But after considering homosexual and bisexual relationships, I would say physically interacting with someone with the intent of performing a sexual act.

Tell us your story

I was almost 20 when I lost my virginity. I had just gotten accepted into medical school in India and was terrified of moving there and dealing with all the changes. I was seeing a guy who was introduced to me by my cousin, but we knew there was no future as I was leaving soon. Before I left, we all went to a party and got drunk. My friend went home so I took my cousin back all by myself. Once we were at his place, my cousin assaulted me. He tried to force my face into his lap and before I knew it, he had me pinned to the ground and attempted to remove my clothes. I got away and locked myself in a room until he passed out. Later he claimed to have no recollection of this.

I was severely traumatized and confided in my friend. I was still afraid, as I had heard about the high incidence of rape in India and was terrified of having my virginity taken from me without my consent, especially after this incident. A week later I went back and had sex with my friend. If I wasn't leaving so soon or if my cousin had not attacked me I don't think I would have done it yet, but I definitely don't regret it. It was a very comfortable experience. We both care about each other and stay in touch to this day. I have healed from my cousin's assault, and came to enjoy sex and see it as a healthy way to express myself. Even though I'm Catholic, I don't regret having premarital sex. I'm happy with the way I lost my virginity: it gave me life experience and molded me into the woman I am today.