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V-Card Diaries: Peace "It took me a year to agree to kiss a guy."

Today we're highlighting Peace in NYC, whose mother only hinted to her about sex, and only when she was tipsy. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. A little about myself:

18, female, NYC

How I define virginity:

Virginity... is the opposite of sex. I would list it as oral, anal, vaginal, and even masturbation as sex. Pure.

Here's my story:

I have very old fashioned parents. My mother has only hinted to me about sex, when she was tipsy on two occasions. They are big believers in the double standard, letting my brothers do what they please and keeping a close eye on me. She mentioned she was a virgin on her wedding night, which I figured.

Honestly, my parents never really influenced me, I would say. I was just a normal high school girl waiting to be kissed and eventually have sex... I am not really the relationship type. I would say I am more of a tease, as bad as that sounds. But this man I knew for a long time was my first kiss. I was 16 at the time, and he was 21. Basically I don't like to let people "in" but he kept persisting on me for a year or so. I told him I never kissed a guy. He was VERY experienced, I've known him for a long time. Anyways, I think his jaw hit the floor when I told him that, but then I saw his eyes light up and then I knew he connected the dots, that I was, and still am, a virgin.

Blah blah blah, he ends up kissing me. It was amazing I would say. But I knew I should only stay on a "friends" basis with him. I push away. It's been over two years now, he lives in another city, I see him a few times a year and we both feel a strong connection when we are together. He also expressed to me that he wanted me to be his in every way. Honestly after hearing that I thought he was a little sick in his head. Then it hit me, my virginity does mean something. Not just to me, but to others.

But in the end I don't sit there and dwell about my virginity. I think I'll know when its right and I choose when I want it. I feel like I'm the type: Before something is about to happen, I envision the repercussions. I am not ready to let go and be in the moment. It took me a year to agree to kiss a guy. It's scary to say but I wonder if that is how my mother felt. In the end I am at peace with logic and being thus far.