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Alicia Menendez

Guest Post from Belle Vierge: Why I Talk Publicly About My Virginity

When I invited Belle Vierge to do a guest post for this blog back in 2012, little did I know that she and her boyfriend would end up being in How To Lose Your Virginity, or that we be down in Miami in 2014 with the film's co-star Ellen (who's also blogged for us!) recording interviews for our TV premiere on Fusion (you can live tweet with us Saturday night using #H2LYV). Here's why Belle Vierge decided to open up about her virginity–Therese

Alicia Menedez (l) interviews Ellen (c) and BV (r) for the Alicia Menendez Show on Fusion.

I started writing Confessions of a Virgin in July 2011, after months of wanting to write about virginity. As I've mentioned before, I wrote my very first post the morning after my first date with Beau. At the time of writing my inaugural post, I had never:

  • had a boyfriend
  • been in love
  • been naked with a man
  • seen a man naked
  • performed fellatio
  • enjoyed cunnilingus or received it sober
  • used a vibrator
  • had skype sex

I wasn't just a virgin--I was downright virginal, and I felt very alone in my sexual inexperience, even if it was by choice.

About this time last year, I took my blog offline to refocus my writing. When I started blogging again, I had rebranded as Finding My Virginity. The change in title reflected both what I had learned in my first year and a half of blogging and how I had changed during that time.

I thought about these changes a few weeks ago when the Fusion Network asked me to be on two of their shows to talk about the documentary How to Lose Your Virginity. Both Alicia Menendez and Mariana Van Zeller wanted to know the same thing from me.


Not "Why are you saving coitus for marriage?" but instead, "Why did you agree to talk so candidly about virginity for this documentary?" I don't remember what I said on-camera, which required thinking on my feet and replying with only a few seconds to prepare a response.

 But the reason I let Therese interview me for her documentary is threefold.
  1. I'm not ashamed of the sexual choices I've made
  2. I want other virgins to know they're not alone
  3. I am shamelessly ambitious about my writing

Those first two reasons are why I started blogging. Why I started opening up about my life as a virgin. Why I continue to blog about virginity even though I've discovered the joys of oral sex and mutual masturbation and sex toys.

Everything I blog, or tweet, or say on TV, I do not just for who I am today, but for who I was in the past.  The teenage kissing virgin who was slut-shamed... The religious college student who thought masturbation was a sin... The closeted bisexual who discovered herself in France. I might not be the same woman that I used to be, but I remember what it felt like being her. I write candidly for that woman, and for anyone like her, women who just need a friendly feminist friend.

I hope you'll tune in to Fusion this Saturday to watch Documental. Besides getting to see the kickass documentary How to Lose Your Virginity, you'll also discover my REAL name and some big life changes that won't be on the blog for a few months.