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V-Card Diaries: Katherine "I'm a Mormon and a proud virgin but I have not been able to turn off my sexual thoughts."

Today we're highlighting Katherine in Arizona, who has been exchanging sexual fantasies with an old friend but isn't planning to act on them. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. A little about myself:

I'm a 28-year-old heterosexual female, born and raised in Arizona.

How I define virginity:

There are so many varying ways to define virginity. Not only do I consider myself a virgin because I have never had vaginal intercourse, but I have also never had any sexual contact with anyone including kissing.

Here's my story:

Being raised Mormon it was always taught that you do not have sex till you were married (along with pretty much any other physical contact, even being alone with a potential partner). So I grew up more than happy to follow these rules. I have never had a strong sexual side, so it was easy. And being taught that the right thing to do was to be chaste I was always PROUD to be a virgin. I never struggled with hiding it, feeling ashamed or unwanted etc.

I'm not unattractive and I wouldn't consider myself socially awkward, however I have never really been alluring to the opposite sex and have never had a boyfriend or been on an official date. I always had crushes on guys but they were always unrequited.

It hasn't been till recently that I decided I do not even believe in what is the point of waiting to have sex till you get married when I don't even want that? And it hasn't been till recently that I have even had any sort of desire to be physically intimate with anyone and these sexual thoughts and desires were only the result of a conversation with a guy I have known for ten years. I met him (Max) right out of high school and right up front he was more than willing to marry me even though having just met and known me for a short time. But that scared me so he and I have spent the last ten years having on and off conversations via email, online chatting and phone conversations. This year we sparked up our conversations again and one night sex was brought up. When I confessed to having a sexual fantasy about him, he in turn described how he would make love to me. A switch somewhere inside me was thrown. And ever since I have not been able to turn off these sexual thoughts.

But I have no desire to go and act on any of these newly discovered feelings. However Max and I have added an exchange of sexual fantasies to the mix of our usual conversations. None of which will be fulfilled in any near future because he is currently teaching English abroad and then moving to Australia till late next year.

I'm on my way to a new job in California starting next week. And even though I have never had any luck with guys, somewhere inside me I still hold out hope that maybe I will meet a guy whom I will share mutual feelings of love and respect with and a relationship will develop...and I guess we will just have to see if, when, and how actual physical intimacy will develop in my life.

V-Card Diaries: Astarte "I've literally been getting a degree in Sexuality but I don't think I'll ever have sex."

Today we're highlighting Astarte in Arizona. She feels she doesn't have the social skills to jump start a sexual life, and isn't sure if she even wants to bother trying. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. A little about myself:

I'm a 22-year-old woman, in Arizona. I still have my good old v-card by all standards.

How I define virginity:

Virginity is what you make it out to be, its not rooted in anything concretely physical and biological or permeate and eternal, but something that is socially constructed. It has the meaning and power people choose to give it.

Here's my story:

At this point in my life a part of me honestly feels that that I will never have sex and I really don't know if I even want to. It's weird because I never set out to "protect" my virginity or lose it the way a lot of my friends did. Frankly I had to many problems and worries in my life as a teen to ever care about sex ("that silly huffing and puffing! I don't have time for that, I have real problems!"). Ironically I have spent the past four years getting a degree in Sex and Sexuality as part of Gender and Women's Studies, I have literally been studying sex and sexuality in all its historical and social developments, expressions, abuses and joys, and it as left me suspecting that all this hoopla is for then a bit overblown.

Plus I'm at an age where most of my peers have experience with sex and flirting (if still rather badly) and there is this unspoken assumption that everyone has some idea of what they are doing at this life stage. I feel like I don't have any of the social skills needed to jump start a sexual life, I'm not sure if I really want to bother trying. I feel very ambivalent about the whole thing.