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Belle Vierge

Guest Post from Belle Vierge: Why I Talk Publicly About My Virginity

When I invited Belle Vierge to do a guest post for this blog back in 2012, little did I know that she and her boyfriend would end up being in How To Lose Your Virginity, or that we be down in Miami in 2014 with the film's co-star Ellen (who's also blogged for us!) recording interviews for our TV premiere on Fusion (you can live tweet with us Saturday night using #H2LYV). Here's why Belle Vierge decided to open up about her virginity–Therese

Alicia Menedez (l) interviews Ellen (c) and BV (r) for the Alicia Menendez Show on Fusion.

I started writing Confessions of a Virgin in July 2011, after months of wanting to write about virginity. As I've mentioned before, I wrote my very first post the morning after my first date with Beau. At the time of writing my inaugural post, I had never:

  • had a boyfriend
  • been in love
  • been naked with a man
  • seen a man naked
  • performed fellatio
  • enjoyed cunnilingus or received it sober
  • used a vibrator
  • had skype sex

I wasn't just a virgin--I was downright virginal, and I felt very alone in my sexual inexperience, even if it was by choice.

About this time last year, I took my blog offline to refocus my writing. When I started blogging again, I had rebranded as Finding My Virginity. The change in title reflected both what I had learned in my first year and a half of blogging and how I had changed during that time.

I thought about these changes a few weeks ago when the Fusion Network asked me to be on two of their shows to talk about the documentary How to Lose Your Virginity. Both Alicia Menendez and Mariana Van Zeller wanted to know the same thing from me.

Why?

Not "Why are you saving coitus for marriage?" but instead, "Why did you agree to talk so candidly about virginity for this documentary?" I don't remember what I said on-camera, which required thinking on my feet and replying with only a few seconds to prepare a response.

 But the reason I let Therese interview me for her documentary is threefold.
  1. I'm not ashamed of the sexual choices I've made
  2. I want other virgins to know they're not alone
  3. I am shamelessly ambitious about my writing

Those first two reasons are why I started blogging. Why I started opening up about my life as a virgin. Why I continue to blog about virginity even though I've discovered the joys of oral sex and mutual masturbation and sex toys.

Everything I blog, or tweet, or say on TV, I do not just for who I am today, but for who I was in the past.  The teenage kissing virgin who was slut-shamed... The religious college student who thought masturbation was a sin... The closeted bisexual who discovered herself in France. I might not be the same woman that I used to be, but I remember what it felt like being her. I write candidly for that woman, and for anyone like her, women who just need a friendly feminist friend.

I hope you'll tune in to Fusion this Saturday to watch Documental. Besides getting to see the kickass documentary How to Lose Your Virginity, you'll also discover my REAL name and some big life changes that won't be on the blog for a few months.

Casting Call for Virgins. I'm Not Kidding. A Guest Post from Belle Vierge

Therese's intro: I get a lot of requests from producers asking for my help in recruiting virgins for their exploitative reality shows. In my opinion, reality TV is the last place you ever want to trust with anything important or sensitive about your life. This is an actual true life example: Me: I'd love to do a reality show about virginity, but I don't want to exploit or embarrass anyone. Reality Show Producer: Then you really shouldn't work in reality TV.

The latest call, from MTV, came to @belle_vierge, who is much more generous in her opinions about these kinds of opportunities. She writes a great blog about virginity and, along with her boyfriend, is a highlight of our film How To Lose Your Virginity. We're honored that they're both coming out of the virginity closet in our film. Here's her post about the MTV casting call, with her permission:

Finding My VirginityCasting Call for Virgins. I'm Not Kidding. A Guest Post by Belle Vierge

So I just received an email from a casting agency looking for virgins for a new documentary for MTV. At first I thought it was a scam. I mean... really? MTV is interested in the lives of virgins? So I googled the domain of the dude's email address. It looks legit.

I have two thoughts in regards to this.

1) I like that virginity is being discussed more often in pop culture, especially outside of Purity Culture and outside of the "desperate to lose it" genre.

2) Do I think MTV will manage to pull off a documentary that doesn't exploit its participants?

Uhh...

Reality TV isn't real. A documentary like this will probably not be all that sensitive. But the decision to participate or not isn't up to me. It's up to you. You being a virgin who meets the show's requirements. So I've copied and pasted the relevant info below, just in case you want to be the next Reality TV Star. No judging here. I would totally win Big Brother if I got on that show. Also let's not forget that Beau and I are already in an awesome documentary on virginity, How To Lose Your Virginity.

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Are you a VIRGIN?

For the first time, a completely honest show… about being a virgin.

MTV is now casting individuals who have not had sex – either by choice or circumstance - in a documentary-style show that will follow you on your experiences and life as a virgin.

We’re looking outgoing, expressive and passionate young adults who appear to be between the ages of 18-24 from all over to document the pressures, struggles, and benefits of being a virgin in America today.

Whether you plan to remain a virgin until marriage, or are just waiting for the right person; whether you’re motivated by a personal or religious commitment to purity, or you’re comfortable with some sexuality... but haven’t gone all the way; whether you feel pressure to keep your virginity, or to lose it as fast as possible – we want to hear from you.

If you’re a virgin and feel like your story MUST be told, we want to hear from you ASAP!

To submit, please provide the following to mtvdoc@lescasting.com

NOTE: PARTICIPANTS MUST BE AT LEAST 18 YEARS OF AGE

- Name & Age (Participants must be 18 years of age.)

- Contact Number(s)

- E-mail Address & Facebook

- Attach two RECENT photos of yourself.

- Briefly tell us about your day-to-day life and your story as a virgin.