website statistics

California

V-Card Diaries: Rebecca "We're both young Christian Republicans who do not care that sex goes against our main ideologies"

Writing from: Gilroy, California

Age: 15 years old

How I define virginity: Once the penis is inside the vagina, you've lost your virginity. However, if you're gay or lesbian, it's obviously different.

Freshman year, I met him at a football game and we talked often and loved seeing each other. He was super sweet to me, but I realized that I wasn't really in to him, so I stopped talking to him, in order to not lead him on. We still politely greeted each other whenever we saw one another.

Now sophomores, we started talking again because he was talking to one of my best friends. I think we became such close friends when we realized we were both freaky people, the only difference being, which I didn't tell him, that I was a virgin. We told each other that we'd hook up before we graduated, even as he currently will probably soon date another girl in my class. I told him to call me on a rainy day, and we actually set that day for two weeks from now. We then realized that we both got out of school early this past Friday, and decided to meet then.

At 11:50 am, I dashed out of school and started the journey to his house. I walked through dangerous parts of the big city and got to his house at around 1:45 pm. There was a slight delay in time because I had to compose my nerves in a Safeway bathroom before I headed on, had to re-check directions to his house in a McDonalds, and freshened up in the bathroom of a public high school I passed on the way to his house, and then proceeded to proudly strut down the hallways of that school in my all-girls Catholic high school uniform.

Since we are close friends, walking in to his house knowing I'd leave not a virgin was slightly awkward, but not too much. He nervously talked about hockey practice as I took off my shoes as sexily as one can take off her shoes. We made a quick plan in case his parents came home. So we went in his basement, turned on Family Guy, and started making out. He fingered me, gave me a hickey, and we eventually had sex, and he even ate me out. We cracked jokes at each other, laughed and moaned a lot, and had a lot fun. I felt so comfortable with him. He got upset when I continuously called myself ugly.

We decided that we didn't want to tell anyone. I had to be back at school by 5 for tech crew so he downloaded the Lyft app and paid for a ride back. The driver must've thought we looked ridiculous ducking as we ran to the car to avoid the camera his parents set up in front of his house, trying to figure out if he had enough money, where to enter our coupon code, and laughing as we gave each other an awkward kiss goodbye. The driver and I made small talk about my school's XC team.

Let me throw in one more thing to make you laugh out loud one more time at this hilariously awkward story; in those 3 hours, I had my first kiss, first make-out session, first time being fingered and eaten out, first time even touching a penis, and yeah, first time having sex. I've been told before that it's unhealthy to be in a friends-with-benefits relationship, or to be having sex when you haven't been 15 for even a month and he's only been 16 for about 2 months, but I don't care. There's such a taboo over sex and people don't realize that it's the most natural thing ever.

We're actually both young Christian Republicans, who do not care that sex goes against our main ideologies. Have sex or don't have sex whenever you freakin' want; it's you and your partners business only. I love my crazy and awkward first-time story. Last tidbit, don't be surprised if you feel sore for the next few hours, or if you're in your school's theater bathroom an hour later and you're bleeding a bit!

 

If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. Find The V-Card Diaries here on most Wednesdays.

V-Card Diaries OhWhalees "As long as it feels right, don't live with regrets"

Writing from: Bell Gardens, California

Age: 18 years old

How I define virginity: Virginity to me is not having had vaginal sex

I never really thought of "losing your v-card" as simply having your hymen broken like the textbooks say. There's different ways to perceive it and different sexualities.

At 14, a week into my relationship, my hymen was broken by my ex's curious fingers. He wiped the blood on my thigh saying it was finger paint. We looked at each other, said oops, had a nice laugh about it, and I went home. A month later we broke up.

Later that year my current boyfriend and I were in a closed off abandoned sushi restaurant. One thing led to another and after 6 months of hand holding and kisses we took it all the way. For a few minutes that is, we heard the cops next door and peeled out. It was not at all romantic nor perfect but it felt right and I'm not just talking physically. It felt right in my mind, heart, and soul. Almost 4 years later and I have no regrets. Especially since we're not as awkward and clumsy lol.

As long as it feels right, don't live with regrets.

If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. Find The V-Card Diaries here on most Wednesdays.

V-Card Diaries: Victoria "I lost my virginity at 14 to my boyfriend of a year. We were young as hell and in love as hell."

Today we're highlighting Victoria from California lost her virginity at age 14 to the love of her life. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here.

A little about myself:

My name is Victoria, a female. I'm 16 years old and I live in a small, small town in California. It's literally tourist spot. All year round I see different people from around the world in Hawaiian shirts and flip flops, even though where I am it gets to below freezing.

How I define virginity:

Your virginity is NOT defined by your religion, your parents, or even your boyfriend. It's defined by YOU, however you want to define it.

Here's my story:

I lost my virginity when I was fourteen, to my boyfriend of a year. We were young as hell and in love as hell. In my family no one had ever talked to me about periods, love, sex, or drugs. I had to figure it out all own my own, just like a discovered how to put a tampon in the hard way.

I had started dating my boyfriend in 8th grade, and by freshmen year, we were definitely talking about sex. It was scary, because in school we were learning about condoms and birth control and stuff. Before we decided to have sex, I went on the pill. Two words, FUCK THAT. I had forgotten to take my pill at least 3 times a week every single week, so eventually I just stopped. I lost my virginity on my fourteenth birthday, in my boyfriends tiny room.

We got to his house and I stood next to his dresser without saying anything. I know, super awk. Anyways, long story short he had bought me Victoria's Secret underwear for my birthday and I was so uncomfortable in my lacey thong I literally couldn't move. We didn't get naked, but there was a couple laughs and a couple moans, and a couple cries and it was so worth it. If I have one word of advice it's definitely to lose it to someone special to you, I will never regret losing it to him because he was the love of my life and still is. I've been with him since I was 13.

V-Card Diaries: Sammie "I haven't had sex because any man who has ever touched me intimately has hurt me"

Today we're highlighting Sammie in New England who is, for the time being, perfectly happy with her vibrator and erotica. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. A little about myself:

I'm a 31-year-old female from California living in New England

How I define virginity:

I suppose I am technically a virgin because I have never had sex with another person. Vibrators/dildos don't count huh?

Here's my story:

I was molested, and nearly raped, when I was 12 and then was sexually assaulted again when I was in college. I was an early bloomer and because of that I was sexualized by men at a very very young age (by the time I was 10 years old I was getting propositioned on the street by men walking by because I looked more like I was 17). It has always made me extremely uncomfortable with my body, and then my past sexual assaults have increased that discomfort.

I know men appreciate my body and find it desirable but I just don't see why. I actually wish I was gay, or asexual, because I trust women more than men, but I just don't find women desirable. I have pushed away any, and all, physical relationships because of my past experiences and have even lied about my virginity to my best friends. Its just easier to pretend that I have had sex then it is to explain to your girlfriends that you haven't had sex because any man who has ever touched you intimately has hurt you. Plus at my age, people assume there is something seriously wrong with you if you aren't having sex all the time.

I hope to someday meet someone that I can feel comfortable enough with to have sex and build a trusting relationship with, but for the time being I am perfectly happy with my vibrator and erotica.

V-Card Diaires: Garrett "I thought of him as my second sexual partner, not as the man I gave my gay virginity to."

Today we're highlighting Garrett from California who realized that casual sex didn't make him feel unclean or ashamed–just stupid. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. A little about myself:

I am a 21-year-old bisexual male from California. I never considered my virginity important. I didn't feel like I had to lose it. Sex didn't and still doesn't make me feel uncomfortable. The first time I slept with a woman she questioned if I was in fact a virgin, since I was calm and seemed to know what I was doing. The same thing happened when I had sex with a man for the first time.

How I define virginity:

I do not define virginity as a single entity that can be lost all at once, but rather in bits and pieces.

Here's my story:

I always felt sexually stunted compared to all my friends growing up. Sex just wasn't a high priority for me. It wasn't until I had my first girl friend at the age of 20 that I began gaining sexual experience. We started things slow for the first four months. First hand on genital interaction, later oral, and then vaginal intercourse. When I realized I loved her I had no problem having vaginal intercourse. However, none of these experiences made me feel like I had lost anything.

It wasn't until about seven months later that I truly felt that I had lost some form of purity. I moved away to go to school and the long distance became too much to handle. We eventually broke up but decided to remain in touch. This might have worked out had we not had meaningless sex the next day. I think the break up sex was meant as a last resort to salvage our relationship but all it did was make me feel awful, ashamed, and dirty. I had hurt myself and hurt someone I cared deeply for. I had damaged an emotional connection with sex.

The first time I had sex with a man was a casual hookup that lead to a short term dating experience until he ignored me completely. We were both on the rebound and got along well, it was easy. The first time we kissed lead to hand jobs, oral, and anal sex all in one night. I never once considered that it was a second chance to lose my virginity. I thought of him as my second sexual partner, not as the man I gave my gay virginity to.

I continued to casually date and have sex with him for about three months until he started sloughing off slowly. Then I started to feel used. I would ask him if he was done with me and he would say that things weren't like that and he respected me. Ultimately I found out that translated to him just wanting to keep me on reserve until he knew what he wanted. I ended it and wished I'd never met him. This experience didn't make me feel unclean or ashamed, but stupid. It made me feel stupid for trusting someone so easily and having sex with them so quickly. I realized that casual sex is not for me.

V-Card Diaries: Ms. Beavers "It was painful for me, nerve-wracking, and beautiful–and sex got much better after the initial pain!"

Today we're highlighting Ms. Beavers in Bakersfield, CA. Her sexual debut was nothing was painful and nothing like the movies, but still a pure bonding experience. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here.A little about yourself:

I am a 21 year old female who originates from California–specifically, Bakersfield.

How I define virginity:

Losing your virginity is more than physical penetration. It is a development of emotions, maturity, connections, and (hopefully) pleasure. Being a virgin is having a sense of purity within your own body. The term "losing your virginity" has a negative connotation, but is completely construed because if you have a positive experience, it can be the beginning of an entirely new chapter in life of love, passion, desire, and responsibility.

Here's my story:

I am currently 21 and had my sexual debut at age 18. My story involves my high school sweetheart–we met when we were 15 and are still currently together. We waited 3 and a half years to have sex! It was after our freshman year of college that I had my dorm room to myself (plus him) and we just decided that it was time for us. It was nothing like the movies–the intense, passionate, screaming double orgasms. It was painful for me, nerve-wracking, and beautiful. Sharing that connection that neither of us had experienced with anyone else, and knowing that we are each other's keepers still to this day, is one of the most pure bonding experiences I've ever had. Oh, and sex got much better after the initial pain!

V-Card Diaries: Fern Lady "When I was around 5 years old, I hated clothes. That was my most exploratory time so far in my life."

Today we’re highlighting Fern Lady in Berkeley, California, who had her most exploratory time when she was 5-7 years old, but never had a lover or seen a naked man after that. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. A little about myself:

I am a 32-year-old woman. My hometown is Berkeley, California. I love every thing about the natural world and arts and crafts. I have been thinking/feeling out my experience in the world as a woman plus how I feel about my sexuality. I certainly identify as a woman and feel happy I was born a girl.

How I define virginity:

I feel it is tough for me to define, yet I do feel I am one. It's complex and confusing, and changes from person to person. I am still defining exactly what virginity is to me. I have experienced hugs and kisses on the cheek with family and friends. I have never had a lover of either gender, but am pretty sure I tend to be attracted to men. Friends, family, and community have been my life.

Here's my story:

When I was a young girl, I was very free of fear about my body and sexual exploration. When I was around 5-7 years old I hated clothes! I loved and relished going in my backyard totally nude. Sometimes my parents would say it was cold and to put clothes on. I'd come back out in a bathing suit only! I also took baths with the first boy I was friends with. We were one month apart in age. Then we began to explore the one area that was different on each other's bodies, again around five years/same age range as I mentioned before. That was my most exploratory time so far in my life. I have never had a lover or even seen a naked man. Sometimes I think of sex a lot and have an internal desire, but never act on it or risk losing what I consider virginity. Maybe someday my feelings will change.

V-Card Diaries: Taylor "I'm trying not to find sex synonymous with 'gross' anymore."

Today we're highlighting Taylor in Orange County, California, who hopes to overcome religious anxieties in order to have a healthy sex life. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. Tell us about yourself:

I'm 18.5 years old, female and I live in Orange County, California.

How do you define virginity?

A person who has not yet had his/her sexual debut.

Tell us your story

I am an ex-Christian who is trying to get away from my religion. I'm trying not to find sex synonymous with 'gross' anymore. My religion has caused me so much pain, I'm trying to fix it with therapy. Hopefully in a few years I can be a non-virgin who has a healthy, non-religious relationship.