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Cindy Gallop

Just the Tip: Little bits of things we like online

There's very little out there on sexuality and disability, and even less dealing with first-time sexual experiences. So thanks to Nerve for giving us "Getting Around" by Tiffiny Carlson, a young woman in a wheelchair who writes with a lot of humor and honesty.

The next year, I went back to the camp and once again left with a disabled boyfriend. This one was totally in love with me, but we couldn't have sex because neither of us could move our hip muscles. We tried it once. He struggled to get on top of me, but couldn't move his lower body enough to get his cock inside of me. Talk about torture. I was too eager to experience "real" sex to stay with him. After about four months of fooling around, I broke it off.


Rookie is a new and wonderful (and wonderful-looking) online magazine created by Style Rookie blogger Tavi Gevinson. It has a great roster of writers, editors and guardian angels and we're really excited to see where it goes. They recently did a story called "The First Time" by the equally wonderful Cindy Gallop who writes that there are many first times that might be considered special, sexually speaking, not just the first time you have sex:

"And yet the first time we have sex is billed as something “magical” and “special,” that at the same time is about “losing”—our virginity, innocence, purity —not gaining (experience, skills, information, fun). Society teaches us this inherent contradiction that my friend Esther Perel, author of Mating In Captivity, sums up beautifully: “Sex is dirty: save it for someone you love.” What are we supposed to do with that? At the same time there are other sexual firsts that we don’t treat with the specialness they deserve. Here are some less widely talked about first times that can be, in my opinion, just as important as your very first sexual encounter."

For Cindy's list, including 'The first time you give yourself an orgasm" and "The first time you realize you really don’t care what anybody else thinks" go to the story.

Also in Rookie, "Doing It on Television" comparing differences in how virginity loss was treated on 90210 (the original) with Friday Night Lights. It reminded me of how much I loved that particular FNL storyline, and their description captures the funny/sweet/nervous mood perfectly:

"Of course, sometimes the romance of television does get it right. More recently, Friday Night Lights gave us the relationship between Matt Saracen and Julie Taylor, the coach’s daughter. Matt has just been demoted from his position as quarterback of the Dillon Panthers. He and Julie blow off the school dance (the idea of dancing does seem to lead to fornication, one point to John Lithgow in Footloose) to go to a nearby lake, where they swim and argue over which is better, veggie hot dogs or the regular kind. They tumble backwards off their campfire perch and onto a blanket, kissing like mad. The next scene shows them staring at each other in the car the following morning, completely in awe of what has occurred. Julie runs inside, wearing Matt’s sweatshirt, and looks at herself in the mirror for a moment before shaking her head at her own reflection, as though she cannot believe it herself."

Images from (top) and (middle and bottom)