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Plan B

Ask Trixie: I'm worried i'm pregnant! How can I stop stressing over this?

Hey Trixie - I had sex on the 3rd of dec for the first time and my last period was on the 11th of nov. It's currently the 6th of dec and i'm worried i'm pregnant although i did use a condom (which didn't break) and took the morning after pill. What are my chances and how can i stop stressing over this? –June

Hi June -

Thank you for writing and I'm sorry you are so stressed! You don't mention what kind of sex you had, so I'm going to assume it was intercourse with a person with a penis. If not, let me know!

If that's the case, I can tell you I've been there. If you're not a strict 28-day person, it might be late for many reasons, and stress has a way of making them even more wonky. Since your partner's condom was intact AND you took a morning after pill, it's unlikely that you're pregnant.

BUT! The best way to stop stressing is to take a pregnancy test, which you can buy at any drugstore. You get two tests in one box so you can double-check the results, whatever they are. Just follow the instructions exactly. If you are pregnant (again, unlikely) you may have more questions so I invite you to write again.

Good luck!
Trixie

Got a question about virginity, sex, relationships, feminism or filmmaking?  Ask Trixie here.

V-Card Diaries: Ida. Ho. "Don't have sex in the front seat of a car."

Our latest V-Card Diaries comes from Ida.Ho. in Texas, who took some risks the first time she had intercourse, from having some unprotected and rough tumbles in a car, to not taking Plan B afterwards. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. We'd love to run it in this blog. A little about myself:

I'm 18. I'm a pan-sexual female (shh don't tell my mother) and I'm a proud Texan, born and raised.

How I define virginity:

I was taught that vaginal penetration was the line where you lost your virginity. I've since re-thought it. I think losing your virginity includes oral sex. But let me tell about the first "conventional" time I had sex.

Here's my story:

You would have thought it was a porno how many positions he tried. J was never really a boyfriend guy friend from the summer before. I met him when I was 15 and he was 19. When I was 16 I snuck out the house to go see him because he texted me that it was an emergency. We hadn't spoken in over 6 months but he had a history of depression and suicide attempts so I was legitimately concerned. I half ran down the street in flip flops, my pajamas, and messy hair to his house. He was sitting in his car outside.When I climbed in he skipped the hello and the explanation of what was going on, he hugged me. He told me he just needed to see me. I sighed, glad he was okay.

I layed down and put my head on his lap, intent on cat napping while he warmed up to talking about what was going on. Since my eyes were closed I didn’t see the kiss coming. But one minute I was half asleep on his lap, and the next we were full on making out. I got up and straddled him, taking my top and bra off. The summer before he taught me a lot about my body. He showed me how to give a good blow job, all the great things you can do with breasts. He went down on me once. I didn’t cum and it was really awkward for both of us. So I’m comfortable with him. Suddenly he says “I wanna do it.”

Despite me asking him several times the summer before he never wanted to take my virginity. I got off him and took the rest of my clothes off. I was ready. It took me five minutes to convince him. We didn’t have a condom. I started out riding him but couldn’t really do it. Then on my back. Then doggy style. Then three other positions. By the time he was done I had a concussion, my head had been knocked around so many times. DON’T HAVE SEX IN THE FRONT SEAT OF A CAR. He handed me a handful tissues and informed me I was bleeding. I tried to clean up a little before putting my clothes back on.

Then he said “Will you do something for me?” I said “Anything. He drove me to the local drug s tore. He sent me in to buy a plan B pill. I walked in and asked how much it cost. The guy behind the counter told me $40. I went back to the car and asked him for the money. He wiped blood off my face and said “What kind of hard core car sex did we have?” I bought the pill. He dropped me off at home, quickly explained what it did and sent me on my way.

I never took the pill. I wasn’t interested in starting my period right away. I was going on vacation the next day. My brother was up when I walked in. I know I looked a wreck. He didn’t say anything. J and I haven’t spoken since.

V-Card Diaries: Miss Wrong "He continuously texted me saying if I was pregnant, I would be ruining his life."

Today we're highlighting Miss Wrong in Jerome, Idaho, who regrets that she had sex for the first time with a guy who turned out to be a horrible jerk. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. A little about myself:

Hello, I'm a female. Currently 16 almost, 17. From Jerome, Idaho.

How I define virginity:

A virgin is a young woman characterized by absence of sexual experience.

Here's my story:

My parents have always told me and my brothers that virginity is like a treasure. Boys will do whatever they can to get to the treasure. My mom always said to take very good care of it. Because once it's gone, it's gone. And there won't be a way to go back. She tells us to wait till marriage because that's how God wants it. I always understood and wanted to save my v-card till marriage.

Until I met a guy named Miguel. He came into my life so suddenly. Within months I was in love with him. We went on dates, and he was so respectful. Let's just say, he was perfect! I wanted him to be my first. I remember saying "He's the one, I know it." Little did I know I was so wrong. He did end up being my first. But he was a complete jerk to me right after that had happened. He texted me the morning after saying he didn't want anything to do with me anymore. My heart was shattered! I cried for days, then months. Nothing could give me back my treasure! I hated myself for being so stupid. How could I have been so dumb, I thought.

A month later I realized I had missed my period. I decided to text him. Another wrong decision on my part. I told him about my missed period, and said I could be pregnant. He started texting me the worst, telling me he didn't love me, and that he didn't want me to be the mother of his kids. It made me feel even more worse. A week later he texted me asking if I had received my period, and nothing. He then decided to buy the morning after pill, or plan B pill. I denied to take it. But he continuously texted me saying if I was pregnant and continued to be I would be ruining his life. After so many texts I was done. I told him to bring it to me. I took it and it was all over.

Until this day I regret not listening to my mom. I wish I would've waited till marriage. I now have a boyfriend and he knows about my past and we do not have sex. I'm waiting till marriage. I think I should've the first time. I just want to let all you other young girls know that it may seem right at the moment, but afterwards it's the worst feeling ever. Don't get pressured by all those girls having sex. Save the v-card till marriage! Be that unicorn in this world! I promise you won't regret it!