Today we're highlighting Lauren in England, who doesn't have regrets about having her sexual debut with multiple people she barely knew because they made her feel safe and secure. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here.
A little about myself:
18, female, England
How I define virginity:
The first penetration of the vagina with the penis, or, for men, the first time they penetrate someone else, other than oral. But maybe oral is a different virginity. Huh.
Here's my story:
I was at a party, I was fairly drunk, there were 3 boys and a girl and I slept with all of them. They had experience. They wore protection. I've always been very open to sexual experiences but had never had any previous advances or met anyone interested in me - it was liberating. I thought I wanted to be in a safe, secure and comfortable relationship, to slowly build up to sex, tick off all the bases, but these people that I barely knew made me feel safe and secure, for this reason I have no regrets.
I realised that I have placed a lot of significance on my virginity: Sex is a basic instinct, it's almost as though there is a sense of shame or loss in the act. I'd touched myself and masturbated, and I personally found sex to be merely a glorified, easier, warmer, more pleasurable, more emotional form of masturbation. I felt confident and alive, attractive and relaxed. It was freeing.
I am now in a relationship, not one of those boys, not even the girl (but I am certain of my bisexuality), but another guy, a good friend. He thought I was very innocent and was surprised (as I was) when he learnt of my rampant sex drive. I felt needy, but not vulnerable. I felt like I had been unleashed, awakened - my fears were gone - so when he was ready, I was ready. It was easy and natural and sober. I found myself even more aroused and excited, despite my inexperience.
I enjoy sex and am not ashamed about that, but I wish the subject of virginity, sex, and masturbation was socially acceptable, so that I could discuss them comfortably. It felt right. I'm not hurt or afraid. Trust your instincts and to do what is right for yourself. You can say no. You can say yes. Don't be ashamed of your wants, revel in the fact that you are human and can feel, share that feeling, let it grow, be yourself, if it isn't right it isn't right. If it is right, enjoy it.