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safe sex

Ask Trixie: Should I be scared that I can contract an std?

Hi I'm kind of freaking out so we are both virgins but I'm not sure if she was born with an std or not I'm having s panic attack because I'm pretty sure she doesn't but when I asked her she said "my parents would have told me" I only stuck the tip in because it didn't fit. Should I be scared that I can contract an std????? –Will

Hi Will - There's a simple way to stop freaking out and that is for you both to get tested. Go to your doctor, or a clinic, or a Planned Parenthood if one is nearby. Or go to your school's health clinic.  It's not a big deal and people get tested all the time.

Since it takes time for STDs to develop, ask the person testing you how long you should wait before you have any kind of intimate contact again. People can contract STDs from more than intercourse, and if you're going to have any kind of sex, you need this information. 

Scarleteen has several services that can help you navigate this and hopefully find a place to get tested. They also have articles on all aspects of STIs and STDs: http://www.scarleteen.com/tags/sti. In fact, there’s so much info, you may have to go through a few pages to find exactly what you want. 

Also, check out Bedsider for STI basics at https://www.bedsider.org/features/555-stis-and-relationships-what-you-need-to-know

You'll probably both be fine but you won't know for sure unless you get tested so do it right away and get yourself some peace of mind.

V-Card Diaries: Taj "India is so conservative they would kill u if they come to know u had sex before marriage"

Writing from: India

Age: Early 20s

How I define virginity: losing yourself to some both emotionally and physically

i am a girl from india where virginity is a big deal. the place is so conservative that they would even kill u if they come to know u had sex before marriage

i had no idea of sex during my school days only just girls talk. guys try to approach girls with the idea of sex sooner or later. so i decided to choose when i should lose it. entering into college i met a guy whom i fell for. both were in a relationship sooner. he was also a virgin.  we kissed, touched and we got close day by day..we shared our thoughts.and i decided that losing it with him would be good.it happened when i was 18

that time both were nervous but it  went well . and we used condoms. there was nothing much the first time except little pain. now after 2 years its good and still with the same guy!! he is such a nice guy to b with..

If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. Find The V-Card Diaries here on most Wednesdays.

 

V-Card Diaries: Rosa "My kissing number's already up to 50. I'll stick to safe sexual fun."

 Today we're highlighting Rosa in New Jersey. For her, kissing is a safe way to have sexual fun until she finds Mr. Right. If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. A little about myself:

19 years old, female, and I'm in New Jersey, United States.

How I define virginity?

My standard definition of virginity is the old fashioned PIV. But really, once there's been penis penetration of any of the '3 holes,' then I personally wouldn't consider myself to be a virgin anymore.

Here's my story:

I'm still a virgin at 19 years. And it's not because of social awkwardness or because I fear sex, but because I choose to be. But on the flip side, I'm not saving myself for marriage, and I'm fine with being sexual with guys just a little.

I love kissing. And being intimate with a boy, but WITHOUT taking my clothes off or the fondling/groping. I love stimulating and interacting with someone else, and just enjoying the fact that I'm touching another person, and not just using someone for an orgasm, but actually feeling all the different reactions they have over the hours... that's the best kind of intimacy to me.

The irony about my virginity is that I don't have any set rules for the # of guys I can kiss, cuddle, or have full on make-out sessions with. My kissing number's already up to 50, and I've had dozens of make-out sessions with half as many guys...

That's my whole point on why I feel it's safe. I still get to have A LOT of fun with all these different guys, but don't need to worry if I'll catch an STD (I got cold sores when I was little, so I'm not concerned about oral herpes, and I know fingering is pretty safe, but if they've cuts on their hands viruses can still transmitted, and that's not a risk I'm willing to take).

Another reason that I like keeping those boundaries is because if a boy were trying to/thinking of using me for sex, well, all he's going to get is some kissing, not my body.

Also, I do want to find Mr.Right someday. But in the meantime, I'll stick to safe sexual fun, so to me, being a virgin's actually pretty awesome xD.

V-Card Diaries: Miss Understood "I am a liberal atheist with multiple tattoos and a potty mouth, but I've never even kissed a boy."

Today we’re highlighting Miss Understood in Texas who hasn't so far found a guy worth having. When she does, then 'hallelujah.' If you want to tell your story, go to our submission form. You can find all our V-Card Diaries here. A little about myself:

I am twenty years old, almost 21!!! Woo woo! I am a female from the big bad state of Texas.

How I define virginity:

Having never been intimate with another person on a physical level.

Here's my story:

I am a liberal atheist with multiple tattoos and a potty mouth. Because of this I can't be a virgin. But I am, I've never even kissed a boy. (Or girl I guess) My reasoning for being a virgin is because I haven't found a guy who is worth having it. When he does come along and we trust each other, I won't see a problem with things progressing.

Most of my closest friends are the same way except they are waiting until marriage. This is totally fine, but I don't think that has to be the way. I see no problem with people being what some call "sluts". I think that as long as you do it safely and you are happy about it then it is perfectly fine. For me it's more about being comfortable with myself. Why would I reveal all this to a guy if I'm not happy about myself. Once I get there and find a really great guy then hallelujah.